Dear Next Boyfriend,

I am vehemently anti-robot. I do not want one that runs around without eyes cleaning my floors the instant it "senses" dirt, and I certainly do not want one that looks near life-like and takes out my trash/performs various sex acts. I also do not want one that is micro sized, and can be inserted into my blood/cells and travel around, destroying or creating as it sees fit; its possible ability to erradicate cancer is irrelevant in that it must then also contain the power to create cancer.

I have seen the relevant films, sweetheart, and I have studied the literature. I know that, through our lack of foresight and our overwhelming, blind desire to play "god", we will eventually become nothing more than fodder for the robot's "machine". Robots, therefore, are a deal breaker.

Just thought you should know.

Love,

Tori